Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah

The word bar is the Aramaic equivalent of the Hebrew ben (son of). Bar mitzvah means, literally, “son of the commandment,” or bat mitzvah “daughter of the commandment.” When a boy or girl comes of age, they are said to “become” a bar or bat mitzvah. It marks a transition of moral responsibility in a child’s life and the grand celebrations that we see today for it were not held in the past.

Prior to ages 13 for boys, 12 for girls, a child’s parents hold the responsibility for their child’s actions. After this age, children bear their own responsibility for Jewish ritual law, tradition, ethics, and are able to participate in all areas of Jewish community life. Additionally, a bar mitzvah may be counted towards a minyan (a prayer quorum of ten Jewish adults), and may lead prayer and other religious services in the family and the community.

Every Bar Mitzvah ceremony honors three implicit pledges: The child commits to undertake the journey (doing the best I can based on what I know now and continued learning/developing). The parents promise to do all in their power to uphold the child along the way. The community provides support for both parent and child. That is why people come together at bar mitzvahs – to assert, recognize and celebrate that collective pledge.