Israel-Palestine Conflict

In defense of Israel’s side in the conflict, see below points – (Source: Fuel-For-Truth)

1. In peace talks, Israel gives to Palestinians land and rights to build in settlements (concessions that are not reversible) while Palestinians only give temporary concessions (i.e. disarmament/demilitarizing, diplomatic concessions of saying they will own responsibility for the terrorists in their territory). However, terrorists fill that land. When Israel starts making retaliatory attacks, the West doesn’t let them go back in and clean up the terrorists. If Israel does re-invade, Palestine has “reason” to re-militarize further. The Israeli right said for many years, “We lose control over places when we give concessions. Not only do we not get in better shape with concessions, but things get much worse.”
2. Jordan even doesn’t want Israelis to leave Jordan Valley (would be less safe and less peaceful).
3. Palestine would be a failed state. They:
   – Lack political institutions,
   – Lack financial economic institutions,
   – Hold no monopoly over violence in their territory (substate militias run uncontrolled),
   – Are divided between 2 places/governments (Hamas in Gaza and Fatah in West Bank, and cultures are different – the Palestinian Gazans are culturally like Egyptians, while West Bank Palestinian culture closer to Jordanian).
4. Until 2005, nobody talked about settlements being bad, because they made the area safer.
5. Israel grants Arabs citizenship but in Palestine, Arabs don’t recognize Jews as citizens.

Jokes

Rashi joke – His wife comes down in the prettiest dress she’s ever worn for dinner, he compliments her “You look fantastic, but the shoes, they don’t match”. She says “Must you comment on everything?”

What’s the difference between a Jew and a Frenchman? The Frenchman leaves without saying goodbye, and a Jew says goodbye but never leaves.

What’s the difference between an Orthodox, Conservative and Reform wedding? In the Conservative wedding, the bride is pregnant. In the Orthodox wedding, the mother is pregnant. In the Reform wedding, the Rabbi is pregnant.

Answer a question with a question

The correct answer to a Rabbi’s question is always “It depends”

A rabbi, a priest and a cardinal are sitting on a bench. Jesus walks by and asks if there was anything I can do for them. The cardinal says “I have a sick Aunt could you pray for her?” The priest asks “Could you please heal my foot I have cancer in my foot.” The Rabbi says “Please don’t touch me, I’m on disability.”

Let’s not forget, Jesus was Jewish. Because he really loved his mother.

Slang (Yiddish & Hebrew)

Achi — My brother, my dude

Achla — Cool

Achoti — My sister, my girl

Alephbet — Hebrew alphabet

Aufruf — Groom is called up (aaliyah) to the Torah the Shabbat before the wedding

Bageling — Inserting a Jewish word or refer to subtly let someone know you are Jewish or to determine whether the other person is Jewish

Balaboosta — An impressively skilled homemaker

Baruch Hashem — Thank God

Bashert — Predestined soul mate

Bench — To recite a blessing such as grace after meals. Prayer book is also called “Bencher”

Betayavone — Bon Appetit

Bissel (bisl)— A little bit, as in “I just want to eat a bissel right now.”

Blech — A hotplate to keep food warm during Shabbat without doing work

Bli neder — “Without vowing” – said to cover oneself if one will be unable to fulfill a casual promise in the future

Bochur — Young unmarried male such as a yeshiva student (bachelor)

Bracha — Blessing

Bris — Circumcision ceremony

Bubbale — Sweetie, darling (term of endearment)

Bubbe (bubby) — Grandmother

Bupkis — Nothing

By — At the house of, with, or at a location. E.g. I stayed by the Goldsteins (I stayed over their house for the weekend) 

Chag Sameach — Happy holiday

Chavruta — Learning partner (e.g. religious texts)

Chazan — Official at Synagogue leading the congregation in prayer and song

Chutzpah — Nerve, extreme arrogance, brazen presumption, confidence, as in “It took real chutzpah for him to ask for a raise when he kept showing up late for every appointment.”

Cohen — A male descendant of the family of Aaron of tribe Levi

Daven — To pray

Dvar Torah — Giving a talk about the Torah, especially during shabbat

Eruv — The wiring around a community that allows Jews to carry items in the neighborhood during Shabbat (performing some work)

Esh — Fire/Awesome

Farbrangen — A religious gathering or celebration

Frum — Religious, orthodox, observant. FFB — Frum from birth

Gam zu l’toyve — This too is for the best.

Gedolim — Gedol means “great” – signifying the most influential Jewish thinkers (usually Rabbis).

Geshmak — Delicious, delightful

Haftorah — Reading from the biblical book of Prophets that is recited in synagogue immediately following the reading of the Torah

Halacha — Jewish law

Heimish — Cozy, homey, such as the feeling derived from being in the presence of a friendly welcoming Jewish family

Hi-oosh or Bi-oosh — Informal way of saying hi or bye

Holeh/met alecha — I like you a lot (“I’m sick about you” / “I die for you”)

Im yirtzeh hashem — God willing (used when describing the future)

Kallah — Bride

Kindelah — Children (or kinder)

Kiruv — “To touch”- attempt to make others more religious

Klutz — A clumsy person

Kol hakavod — Great job

Kumzits — Sing-along; campfire gathering with song

Kvell — To experience pride in someone else, typically one’s children

Kvetch — To complain, whine or fret

L’chaim — Toast to life

L’dor v’dor — “From generation to generation,” meaning the passing of traditions.

L’havdil — Separation of the holy and the normal or mundane.

Labriut — “To the health – thanking one for a meal or after a sneeze

Lashon hara — “Evil tongue” – gossip

Lo mashu — Not great

Ma nishma? — What’s up?

Machatunim — In laws

Mah pitom — No way!

Maidel — Girl. Shayna maidel – pretty girl or Shayna punim – pretty face.

Mamaleh — “Little mama” – young girl

Mazel [tov] — Congratulations or [good] luck

Mensch (mentsch) — Literally “man,” an honorable, decent, stand-up person, as in, “I don’t care who you marry, as long as he’s a mensch.”

Meshuggeneh — Crazy, ridiculous, insane, as in, “He must be meshuggeneh to think he can wear that getup to a funeral.” (A related word is mishegoss, or craziness.)

Mi ismah? — Not a big deal “Who will hear?”

Mishpocheh (mishpokhe, mishpucha) — Family, or someone who is “like family”

Motek/Mami — Honey / Sweetheart

Nicht shabbos geret — Forbidden subjects during shabbat

Nigun — A wordless melody (tune)

Neshama — Soul

Nosh — To eat or nibble, as in “I’d like something to nosh on before dinner.” Can also be used as a noun to mean any kind of food or snack.

Oy vey — An expression of woe, as in “Oy vey, we left the gefilte fish at the grocery store!”

Pa’am shlishit, glida — “Third time, ice cream” meaning bumping into another person a lot, might as well grab an ice cream

Pizootz — Explosion/Cool

Pshh — Exclamation of respect

Putz — A jerk, or a self-made fool, but this word literally means penis.

Rebetzin — Wife of a rabbi

Savfta — Grandmother. Savtadik – Something that reminds one favorably of grandmother or something that earns her approval.

Shalom Aleichem — A greeting “peace be upon you” with response being “Aleichem Shalom”

Schlep — To carry or travel with difficulty, as in “We shlepped here all the way from New Jersey.”

Schmo or Schlemiel — Idiot

Schlimazel — Unlucky person

Schluff — Nap

Schmear — To spread e.g. cream cheese over a bagel

Schmooze (shmooze) — Chat, make small talk, converse about nothing in particular or informally or to network

Schmuck (shmuck) — A jerk, or a self-made fool, but this word literally means penis.

Schvitz — Sweat or steam bath

Shande (shanda, shonda) — A scandal, embarrassment.

Shecht — To ritually slaughter meat according to laws of kosher

Sheitel — Wig worn by orthodox women

Shidduch — A date or match made by a matchmaker

Shiksa — Non-Jewish girl

Shmatte — A rag or old garment.

Shnoz — A large unattractive nose

Shomer — Keeper, for example: of kosher, shabbat, or negiya

Shtark — Very strictly religious

Shuckle — To “shake” – sway back and forth during prayer

Shul — Synagogue

Sof haderech — Awesome “end of the road”

Spiel — Speech

Tachlis —Nuts and bolts, practical, concrete matters. Purpose.

Tchotchke (tchatchke) — Knick-knack, little toy, collectible or giftware.

Tikkun Olam — Helping the world

Toivel — Immerse dishes in a ritual bath to kosher them.

Tuches (tuchis) — Butt, behind, sometimes shortened to tush or tushy.

Upsherin — First haircut of a three year old

Vort — An engagement party

Yasher koach — Good job!

Yiddishkeit — Jewishness

Yoffi — Beauty but in slang it means “that’s great” or “way to go”

Yom tov — Good day – either a greeting or a holiday

Yontif — A Jewish holiday, usually where work is prohibited unlike chol hamoed – intermediate holiday where work is allowed

Zayde (zaidie) — Grandfather

Slang (Arabic)

Achla — Great

Alek — “Yeah, right”

Fadicha — A mistake

Habibi/Habibti — My dear

Halas — Enough

Mapsoot — To be happy with something

Sababa — Cool

Walla — Wow

 Yalla — Let’s go